Question: Name three ingredients you could put together that are a sure-fire recipe for fireworks, scandal, and roving hit-squads on an epic scale?
Answer: The U.N., Haiti, and Bill Clinton.
The brain trust at Useless Nimrods have given Slick Willy the nod for special ambassador to Haiti, long the poorest and most turbulent nation in the Caribbean. This presents so many possibilities I'm at a loss as to where to begin.
Is this an appointment to get him out of the way in some James Bond-esque style? Send him out there to have Mr. Big put the Big Sleep on him in a voodoo ritual? Are they hoping Aristide still has a few goon squads lurking about, to pull the old back-of-a-van routine? Is Willy getting ready to mouth off about things Hilly would rather he not?
Or does the U.N. finally plan on stealing everything that isn't nailed down in Haiti, so they can send up a hue and cry for international aid that they can steal as well? That could be the case, as Slick Willy attended a meeting in April that raised $324 million for the Haitians. That could be a lot of money in Hamas' pockets.
Maybe someone has bought heavily into the doll and stick pin markets, and sees a golden opportunity for a titanic return on their investment? They say Clinton is popular in Haiti, but that might just be because white hair has some sort of special meaning in the ju-ju huts across the nation.
One thing is for sure: its a recipe for disaster. Crooks sending another crook to hand out suckers' money in a place no one has cared about for 50 years, with a grand history of coups and instability. This gives plenty of opportunity for people to wind up rich, arrested, or dead, and possibly all three.
I bet the bokurs and houngans are going nuts trying to figure this one out.
Story here.
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